Blasting the World Sky High
by Tupac Shakur the Second
Summary: It was a simple publicity stunt...rip a 2 ton vault from a national bank, and haul ass...how he supposed to know he'd have some gangs called Black Lagoon, the Straw Hats, and the Soul Society chasing him across the planet? As if that creepy L dude and his psycho Yagami partner wasnt enough...at least the famous bass player Takuun was joining him...


"...so then, I was like, 'I'm sorry I didn't catch that, fucker' and I stomped him in the nuts" said a woman, in her twenties, as she lit a cigarette. A young dark haired man, who was sitting next to her, sighed, as he had heard the same story for the eight time.

"I know, Revy, you've said it multiple times now..." he replied. Revy scowled, before lifting one of her feet to the seat, and leaning into Rock's personal bubble, aiming a gun at his face.

"Hey! Listen dipshit, I do what I want, how I want, when I want, as many times as I want, now shut up and drive the damned helicopter!" she growled loudly.

"You two sound like an old married couple...we should just get the marriage done already, sve us the damn trouble" grinned a dark skinned man, from behind the front helicopter seats. Revy deadpanned, before turning around and crossing her arms.

"As if I'd ever marry tiny-dick over here" she replied.

"Hey, Rock, how long until we arrive?" asked the man, to the driver. Rock looked down to the ground, noticing a tall tower far below them.

"We're right here, we can sneak onto the other side of the street from the air...do you have the parachutes?" he answered. The man nodded, before putting on his backpack parachute. Rock followed his lead, before he turned to Revy.

"Remember, keep an eye on them, Revy, if you see them make a move follow them and don't let them escape...and DON'T kill them" he added, before jumping off and free falling onto the buildings below. The girl scoffed.

"As if the pricks could do shit to me...bunch of fake ass wannabe spy gangsters..."

"You know, they say women who insult others tend to age rather badly later on in life...might wanna be careful Revy, you might end up looking like Balalaika" grinned the dark skinned man, as he launched himself backwards from the helicopter, onto the roof of the tower, using a grappling wire to descend safely. He could see Rock down below, already setting small explosive clay along the edges of the doorways that lead downstairs towards the elevator.

"Damnit, Dutch! Quit saying shit like that!" shouted Revy, as she reached for her handgun, firing two shots, although missing on purpose.

"Missed!"

"Shut up, Dutch!" screamed Revy, kicking the helicopter door. She quickly lowered the elevation of the helicopter, deciding it'd be smarter...just in case that brat decided to make an escape by car...besides, she doubted he had the balls to actually jump out of a building...it wasn't as if he actually had connections to some major weapons and technology company, right? As if Senju Corporation would willingly support a criminal group that consisted of a bunch of teens.

"...well, time for some rum" she smiled, opening a bottle before taking a swig.

This would be a piece of cake.

...

"NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY DIES!" shouted a short, yet lean figure, his face covered by a ski mask, as he jumped on top of a desk.. Behind him were three more figures, all of them with their faces also covered by a ski mask, a round their necks, were voice changers, making their voices deepen and sync, almost similar to the infamous Kira and L figures that appeared a maybe five or so years ago...

"Get the fuck back, man, this is a holdup, not some damn melodramatic opera show" said the tallest figure, who still only stood at 5'11. The other two were right behind him, however.

The closest was a girl, dressed in a black dress, that revealed her entire back, and was opened at the front of her left leg, allowing a clear view of it, and also a good portion of her right leg. He was honestly surprised at how easily and gracefully she walked. in high heels.

Ahead of her, was a raven haired boy, whose red eyes were always creeping him out. He was wearing a black dress shirt, with a white vest over it.. His dress pants and dress shoes also match the suit. He was the tallest.

The furthest, in the back, was dressed in a long orange tee shirt, and a white hoodie jacket that was unzipped all the way open. His blue jeans were merely hanging an inch or so below his waist, enough to where they still wouldn't hang too loose and fall off. On them was a black belt that held them on, the silver buckle red 'Uzumaki' giving away the maker of the brand. His shoes were hi-tops, made of white patent leather, orange stripes adorning the sides, above the bright blue soles and bottoms.

"She's got a point, bro, sit back, and watch how the Rasen-Dori handle business" added the inal figure, as he walked up and fired three warning shots from his assault rifle. The crowd quickly dropped to the floor, before the crew walked forward.

"Okay, everybody, this is a holdup, and everyone knows the rules...no sudden movements, hand in the air" stated the tallest figure, his red eyes scanning everyone.

"Kami! You're Rasen-Dori!" shrieked a girl, her plum-red colored hair bouncing everywhere as she jumped up, before she pulled out a small pad, running up to the three taller figures. "Can I have your autographs! And some pictures!" she begged, jumping up and down...surpsinglly, she was holding a cigarette loosely between her lips, yet it never fell out. The tallest of the masked boys grinned, before turning towards his three comrades.

"Told ya, people love us, criminal organization or not, we're making money off this" he laughed. The masked girl rolled her eyes, before taking the pad and signing it, handing it back to the fan, who then handed it to the second taller boy.

"We should get a damn agent...out gang's worth too much money, which we don't ever see" he sighed. As people began clamoring over the, a few even asking for photos, to which the gladly obliged.

"Man, you guys are supposed to be the main honchos of the Konoha 9, you're just a bunch of pussies!" Sighed the original short figure. The girl rolled her eyes, before walking behind the counters, quickly finding four silent alarms. She reached behind her dress and quickly pulled out a small remote, aiming it at the alarms, disarming them all within seconds.

"You gotta admit...Senju Corporation may be full of assholes...but they definitely pack a hell of a Weapons and Technology Department" she grinned, waving the small remote. The taller boy walked past her, before waving his shotgun at a locked door.

"Well, let's see your technology get us past this...no? Well, sometimes, good ol'..." before he finished the sentence, he kicked the doors open, knocking them down on two security guards. "...brute force, is better..."

The second taller figure turned around, before entering the next room, facing the 'victims' of the heist.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you are wonderful fans, please go about your usual activities, we are about to attempt to rob your bank's security vault" he smiled and bowed.

"Good luck! I left my number in your pocket! My name's Mamimi Samejima!" cried the fangirl, as she waved her hand, causing her camera to bounce up and down, as he cigarette fell down. She looked at it and sighed.

As the four adolescents came to the next room, they each came to stare at a giant metal, blast-proof door, which was definitely more then a few _inches_ thick.

"Enough with the arguing, you two should just marry each other, so we can get this heist over with..." sighed the third figure, as he pulled forward his duffle bag, drawing out six pack of dynamite, before pulling out six extra grey boxes, each one with a small vile of, what seemed like, heavy and oily water.

"...you got to be shitting me...you're actually going to use THAT?" asked the girl, as she looked back from a nearby window, where she was standing. The boy looked at her, before laughing as he wiped his hands clean on his blue jeans. He quietly set a pack of dynamite on each corner of the heavy vault door, and then one on the top-center, and one on the bottom-center. The boy turned back, as he connect small black wires to each pack, before fully extending each wire back to a tiny silver remote, with only one green button on it.

"Yepp! These babies will get the job done!" He grinned, before running behind a surrounding wall, immediately followed by the other three. He held up a single hand, as he began counting down.

"...you gotta love glyceryl trinitrate a.k.a, nitroglycerine, all undiluted" he smirked, before the three widened their eyes.

"HOW the fuck did you get that HERE without killing us! And WHY would you do that!" they all screamed in unison, as the boy shrugged, and pressed the button. Before any of them could react, the entire floor shook, before collapsing, causing a loud creaking sound to ring through the room, as the building suddenly started leaning to the side.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE! I'M OUTTA HERE!" Shouted the youngest figure, as he made a run for the windows, jumping out before pulling on a string on his chest, letting out a parachute as he soared to another nearby building, before making another run for it.

"...fucking pussy..." scowled the girl, as she took her mask off, knowing it didn't matter at this point. She revealed a mane of long platinum blonde hair, her pale blue eyes blinking as she pushed her bangs out of her face. The tallest boy nodded, before taking his off, to show spiky brown hair, red striped flowing down his cheeks.

"Well...that definitely wasn't what I had planned..." sighed the second boy, as he showed his face. He had three-whiskers on his cheeks, his ocean-blue eyes scanning the vault, which still stood unscathed. He scratched his head, letting himself feel his spiky blonde hair.

"Well...at least the job got done" he smiled, before turning to the other two.

"...Naruto...what do you mean the job's done? The vault is still intact!" exclaimed the girl, as she shook the blonde boy. Naruto grinned, pointing at the rubble.

"We were never gonna open it here, Ino, we were going to destroy a chunk of the building for Sakura and Sasuke" he laughed, as two helicopters suddenly showed up, one with a pinkette driving it, the other with a raven haired boy. Ino and the other boy merely gaped at Naruto.

"Well, you guys better get back to the truck! I'll finish things here, now go!" ordered Naruto, as he ran to the edge of the vault, scaling it easily, before reaching for two loose cable hanging from Sakura's helicopter. He quickly attached and secured one to each side edge of the exposed vault, before running over to Sasuke's helicopter and tying his cables to the opposite sides. He then made sure each of the four were safely secured, before tugging on them, letting the two know everything was god to go.

"Halt! Don't move!" shouted a soldier, 'K.A.G.E' printed across his armored vest, as a full squadron soon appeared behind him. Naruto cursed, before detaching the rifle from his back, grabbing one of the cables, as he began firing at the squad, yelling loudly.

"GO GO GO! WE GOTTA GET OUT NOW!"

Sasuke and Sakura quickly pulled their controls backwards, causing the vault to lift off hthe ground, and swing in reverse, as they began flying back to HQ.

Naruto, however, didn't expect the sudden jerking motions, and lost his grip, causing to jump at full strength, shoulder-rolling onto the room full of K.A.G.E soldiers.

"Say hello to my little friend!" he shouted, as he stood up, not hesitating a single moment as he aimed the assault rifle, firing shot after shot at the agents, all in bursts. As he ran to the side, hoping to create an opening to get to the front door, he tripped, and fell face flat, causing him to accidentally shoot a chandelier on the ceiling, crushing two soldiers below it, as it fell. He gave a thumbs up, still face-planted on the floor, before flipping up, and throwing a grenade, which exploded in a corner, knocking three more soldiers back, and out seperate windows, where they fell to their deaths. Before Naruto could celebrate, however, he heard gunshots ring, head rolling under a nearby desk by instinct as a new platoon of soldiers busted through what windows remained. Naruto cursed, before sighing in frustration as he looked down to see his clips all gone.

"Damn it, I always forget to bring the extras" he groaned, as he shot up, making a break for the windows, before jumping out of the offices.

He then remembered he was on the fifty second floor...or was it forty seventh?...

"SHIIIIITTT!" he yelled, as the wind struck him from the speed. Suddenly he heard a familiar _thumpthumpthumpthump _sound, grinning as a helicopter appeared in front of him, allowing him to grab the side rails, pulling himself up.

"Yes! Take that you fuckers! Who's the man! Naruto is!" he laughed while giving the building the birdie, before turning towards the pilot as he yanked himself on board.

"Thanks man, I owe you one"

"No problem, but one problem fucker...I'm a girl" replied an unfamiliar female voice, causing Naruto to freeze as he turned to see an auburn-haired girl grinning at him...or was it dark red? Maybe voilet red?...either way, she was holding a gun pointed at his temple.

A Cutlass Pistol?...VERY classy...hmm...heavy alcoholic drinker, she was holding a Bacardi 151 Proof bottle...seventy five to eighty percent alcohol, depending on whether it was imported form Europe, the United States, or maybe it was domestic...heavy chain smoker, judging by the heavy scent...it was painfully obvious, especially with her street-talk attitude and strong accent.

A Mercenary

"...well...it seems we've reach an impasse..." he stated, his own .45 Magnum now pointed at her chest. The girl smirked, before shooting her hand out to punch him.

Naruto managed to swing his head to the side, removing the gun threat and dodging the hit, and immediately followed up by swinging his fist, landing a strong blow to the girl's jaw, forcing her to fall backwards, almost crashing the helicopter into the surrounding buildings, as she yanked the controls. The blonde lurched forwards, forcing the door open, as he and the girl fell outwards, only barely hanging onto the rails, as the vehicle began spinning and leaning on its side, causing Naruto to let go as he landed on the rood of a small building. The girl then landed on top of him, knocking him backwards, as she head butted his mouth, busting a lip. Naruto scowled and spat at her, landing blood on her helmet's visor, causing to flinch back a bit as she forcefully removed it and threw it aside. Before she managed to look back, however, Naruto landed a powerful left hook to her lower jaw, disorienting her for a bit. He quickly pulled out one end of a black rope, before reaching for a metal hook and sling, connecting them to a nearby roof air conditioner, before tying the other end of the rope to his belt buckle, which revealed a second sling that controlled the weight distribution. Before the girl could reach him or even stand up, Naruto jumped off the roof, slowly falling down the last twenty floorsn of the building, as the used the rope to control his speed.

"You can't stop a boss like that!" he shouted, placing his hands on the sides of his mouth, as he looked up at the girl who was now throwing a tantrum on the roof of the building. As he turned aroudn to walk away, he blinked, freezing up as he stared a dozens of assault rifles, pistols, and shotguns poised just feet from his face.

K.A.G.E had caught him.

"...so...anybody got a fresh pair of Uzumaki-brand boxers?..." he asked, blinking as his eye twitched.

...

After their escape from the bank tower, where they lasts saw Naruto jumping onto the flying vault, Ino and Kiba had managed to descend the floors by elevator, and ran to their truck, only to see some crazy idiot jumping from the offices and unto a helicopter, before suddenly seeing it crash less then a minute later.

Currently, however, they were speeding down the streets, swerving around traffic, being followed by four or so police cars and a few police bikes.

"Fu-ck-ing-ass-holes! This-is-a-brand-new-ride!" he roared, as bullet after bullet poured in rapid succesion. The pursuing police cars quickly scattered, as a few of the bullets hit the first driver, the third killing him as it hit his head. The car swerved left and right, before hitting a parked car on the side of the curb. The patrol car right behind it couldn't react fast enough and immediately wrecked into it. The two behind that one managed to evade it, and continued their pursuit. Kiba scowled, before reaching to grab two Magnums, each one from his the back of his pants. Neji then scowled, before shaking his head.

"Ten bucks says you don't even hit a single cop" he stated, Kiba only grinned wider, before looking ahead of him. He could see Ino's black and orange truck, which was driving just behind them, offering temporary protection. He looked back at Neji, who eyed him wearily.

"...what your plan?" he asked, knowing the Naruto-like look all-too-well.

"Just watch" laughed the boy, before stepping over the bed of the truck, and jumping onto the other one, landing with a roll, before hitting the back of the vehicle's bed. Ino then sped up, driving alongside the truck Neji was on. Neji widened his eyes, as he saw Kiba stand up and mount the bike on the back.

The brown haired boy didn't bother to say anything as he shot the chains that held the bike down, kicking the bed gate open, allowing the bike to land on the road bellow with a harsh thump. He quickly kick started it, revving the engine, as the two trucks and police cars behind him passed him. As the cops tried to spin back, to catch the teen, Kiba roared the engine, surging the bike forward in a wheelie, quickly gaining speed. Before the cops could react, he climebd over one, landing behind the car, and then quickly speeding past them, leaving them far behind. As he caught up to the trucks, he clicked a small earpeice on his left ear, speaking to himself...ssemingly.

"Ino, TenTen, I got rid of the cops, no casualties...are Sasuke, Sakura, and Ino at the crib yet?" he asked. There was a short silence, followed by a small buzz, then Ino came on.

"Sasuke and Sakura already confirmed that the vault is in the air, but they can't tell if Naruto is still on it, they're vision can't see the safe itself, and he hasn't contacted anybody yet" replied the blonde girl, as Neji added to the statement.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Shikamaru just contacted me..." he stated, as TenTen replied to him, asking the same question Kiba and Ino were wondering.

"How is that bad?" she asked. Neji sighed, before taking a deep breath.

"Naruto's been caught and Japan's not going to risk him staying here...they're sending him to Thailand...he's going to serve a death sentence there...in a city called Roanapur...and apparently there's a bounty on his head...Akatuski are after him already, along with a pirate organization called...the Straw Hats? Something like that...the Soul Reapers? Who are these gangs? I know Akatsuki, but these others, I've never even heard about...damn it...Japan sent some investigator to escort Naru-...well...shit.."

As Neji trailed off his sentence, Kiba growled.

"Well? Shit what? What happened? Who did Japan send with Naruto?" he asked angrily. Neji cleared his throat, before taking a deep breath.

"L"

...

"So, you're Naruto Uzumaki...you're pretty young for somebody who's so internationally famous for crimes" stated a dark haired man, as he sat in a fetal position in his chair, just across the interrogation table. He was softly chewing on his thumb, as he studied Naruto's form.

Secretly, they were actually still in the bank, simply in the basement.

"...who?...where?...how?" asked Naruto, still dizzy from the tranquilizer that hit him after being detained.

"You forget 'when' and 'why' Uzumaki-san, everybody should know their Five Ws and an H" replied the man, causing Naruto's eyes to widen.

"You gotta be kidding me...they sent YOU after ME" he gaped, allowing his jaw to hit the floor. The man cocked his head to the side, before smiling eerily.

"Well then...we can skip the introductions, mister Uzumaki...and get right to the questions..."

Before Naruto could even flinch, the man, actually only in his early twenties, climbed the table and crawled, in a Spiderman-like fashion, to just in front of him.

He was holding out a pad and pen, looking at Naruto vacantly.

"Can I get your autograph? I'm a huge fan, you were splendid in your movie, The Uzumaki Connection...your on-screen chemistry with Miss Yamanaka, during the scene where your characters dives through the window, just as the explosions go off, catching her, just before you two share that final kiss, was nothing short of amazing, I especially loved how the movie closes off, leaving the crowd wondering whether you two live or die"

"Err...sure?...huh...a world-class detective is my movie fan...that's some wierd shit, man" sighed Naruto, as L uncuffed his hand to sign the notepad. Suddenly a door opened, and a young man with long brown hair walked in, his beige suit neatly organized.

"L, now remember what I said, if we give him too much attention, he might get the idea that he can speak his way through this" smiled the man. Naruto felt a chill shoot through his spine...he could've sworn he saw some sort of maniac behind those eyes...

"So...I take it this is a serious investigation?" he asked, receiving a nod from both men.

"Of course, you're a wanted fugitive, with a ten million dollar bounty on your head...we have a few agencies already clawing at our doorsteps, wanting you for themselves" he replied. Naruto sighed.

Sometimes, being a celebrity was a hassle.

"So...am I getting the chair or something?" he asked, already guessing his deaths sentence. The man shook his head, before handing a small folder.

"On the contrary, Mister Uzumaki...we find your...talents, to be potentially useful...see, there a few major 'gangs' we could have you eradicate..." answered L, as the blonde wearily shifted through the papers.

"...The Straw Hats?...Soul Reaper Society?...who the hell is...Haruhara?...who's are these people?...and can't you take them out yourselves? They're all within Japan's law boundaries aren't they?" asked Naruto. The mystery man nodded, before letting out a sigh.

"They are, but The Straw Hats took refuge under China's embassy, allowing them diplomatic immunity, unless they commit a sever crime within Japan itself...as for the Soul Society, they are simply too 'under the radar' to even dig up...we do know that the bass player for Furi Kuri has ties to her" he answered. Naruto's eyes widened as he shot up.

"Taa-kun-san? That guy is a legend at the bass! His songs are epic! I committed my first murder to 'Furi Kura Atomsk!' I love that guys skills!" he shouted eagerly.

"So do you agree? Hunt down these people, and we can let you go free, no harm no foul...while L and I do not agree with killing without trial, we must add that you bring then by any means necessary...bring them alive if at all possible, kill them only if met with lethal force" added the brown haired man, as Naruto shifted in his seat.

"...so you basically want Rasen Dori as a...personal wolf?" he asked, drawing simultaneous stares from both investigators.

"...that would be the best description, Light..." whispered L, just loud enough for Naruto to hear. Light, nodded reluctantly, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Should you accept our offer, Mister Uzumaki, our agency will have any permanent misdemeanors and felonies erased from every member of Rasen Dori, along with a two million bonus at the end" stated Light, leaving L and Naruto to themselves.

"Well...that's tempting..." sighed Naruto, knowing that the job would probably end up with him dying...probably...

"So do you accept?" asked L, curious at the blonde. Naruto merely grinned, before nodding.

"Death, gunfights, explosions, and mass panic...who wouldn't?"

L smiled.

He loved trying to figure out people, especially the psychopathic, yet happy ones.

"...So...I'll be contacting you with this..." he said, as he handed Naruto a small, almost tiny earpeice.

"...Senju was creating something like this..." stated Naruto, as he inspected it.

"Yes, well, we improved it...it has global signal, and can reach to anything two hundred meters below ground, the actual transmission can give us your location up to three kilometers below ground, and fifteen miles in the air" replied L, as he got up.

"You are to go to the United States, in California, which is where Furi Kuri is going to host their next concert...I suggest you take a partner, since you're all in on this now...Rasen Dori is now a branch of the Japanese government, and as such, you will follow whatever objective we hand you...as for HOW you accomplish that, is up to you...also...it might be a good idea to get a new phone..." he stated, pointing at Naruto's iPhone, which had blocked a bullet at its own expense.

"...because...that one is kinda dead..."

...

"Captain!...Captain!"

As a young man with short black hair laid on a hammock, on board a ship, he was seemingly deaf to the cries from his Head Navigator. His ears were to busy processing the music in his iPod.

_Yes I am the king, and no you can't do a damned thing, I'm shootin up the charts like I came out a sling, and like michael jordan I hold the champion's ring..._

"LUFFY!" screamed Nami, the orange haired navigator. Luffy slowly creped one eye open, before yawning, accidentally knocking over the plate of chicken, steak, pork chops, and turkey from his stomach.

"N...Nami?...mmmn...are we there yet?...China was amazing..." he yawned, stretching wide, before the girl knocked over his hammock.

"Wake up!" she cried, startling their entire crew.

"Wh-what!...oh hey...we're in Kyoto!" yelled a goggled crew mate. Nami smacked her face, before sighing.

"No...NO...NO! We're in Tokyo! You idiots!"


End file.
